1. I am one quarter Italian on my mother’s side.
2. My maternal grandmother was the daughter of a very wealthy Venetian wine merchant
3. They lived in a palace on the Grand Canal in Venice.
4. It’s the headquarters of a bank now.
5. J and I were introduced by his ex-wife, C, who was and is a good friend of mine.
6. We first dated, for about a month and a half, in 2003.
7. It was a disaster, and we avoided each other for about a year afterwards.
8. In late 2004 we decided to have a go at being friends again.
9. We’ve been together ever since.
10. We still occasionally have C and her boyfriend round for dinner and hotly-contested games of Trivial Pursuit.
11. I am an atheist.
12. But not a judgemental one, I hope. I don’t really give a hoot what people believe in, as long as they don’t give a hoot that I don’t.
13. I love cats but hate dogs.
14. I’m an only child.
15. My parents met when they were both students at Oxford
16. They’re divorced now, in a manner so acrimonious it verges on black comedy.
17. I look exactly like my Dad, except that he has less hair. And is a man.
18. I have a rare genetic bone disorder that causes extra bone growth on my legs and arms.
19. It’s called Hereditary Multiple Exostoses, or HME (and sometimes MHE) for short.
20. As a result I had surgery when I was fifteen and have an impressive-looking scar on my right knee.
21. I sometimes tell people this is where my Siamese twin was removed.
22. I’m really good at baking.
23. I’m also pretty good at sewing.
24. I kind of suck at knitting though, which is a source of mild disappointment.
25. The best present anybody could give me is book tokens.
26. I grew up in a small town called Hebden Bridge in West Yorkshire, where everybody knew everybody else.
27. When I was younger I swore I would always live there.
28. Now just the prospect of going back to visit makes me feel suffocated.
29. It is incredibly pretty though, and also just down the road from Haworth, where the Brontë sisters lived, which is kind of cool.
30. I don’t always wash my hands after I use the loo.
31. I have yet to suffer any ill effects as a result.
32. When I was little I thought I was named after the Queen.
33. I was named after an Irish hippie.
34. My mum lived with her in a commune outside Dublin during the 1970s.
35. She was infertile, and Mum thought it would be a nice gesture to name me after her.
36. Evidently it wasn’t, as she was so upset she refused to see me and never spoke to my parents again.
37. I have very neat handwriting.
38. I hate driving.
39. I loathe exercise of any kind.
40. My Master’s thesis was entitled ‘Representations of Female Sexuality in Pornographic and Erotic Literature, 1650 – 1750’.
41. I am fanatical about the correct use of apostrophes.
42. I am disproportionately biased against anybody who can’t or won’t use them properly.
43. When I first moved to London I had no job, no money, no place to live, and I didn’t know a single person in the whole city.
44. I lived in a hostel behind Victoria station for three months until I got on my feet.
45. During those three months I nearly gave up and moved back to my parents’ house at least once every day.
46. I never did go back though, because I knew there was nothing there for me.
47. I’m so glad now that I stuck it out.
48. I did a study abroad year at the University of Illinois.
49. It was the best year of my life.
50. I am fascinated by everything to do with America.
51. I would really like to live there someday.
52. That said, I am incredibly British and will get fiercely patriotic if somebody disses my country (unless I happen to agree with them).
53. My most embarrassing moment was, while on a school trip, getting my period unexpectedly at a water theme park in the south of France when I was 14.
54. I was sitting on a white bench at the time, and left a tell-tale red mark when I stood up.
55. The very thought still makes me shudder.
56. I have perfect vision.
57. I hate tuna so much I can’t even be in the same room with it.
58. Carbohydrates are my favourite food.
59. I have a tendency to get obsessed with certain TV shows.
60. I was never allowed to wear pink when I was growing up.
61. I go to bed early and I get up early.
62. I am incapable of staying awake if I’m lying down, it doesn’t matter if I’m tired or not.
63. I think that a world without Galaxy chocolate would not be worth living in.
64. I have an A in Art GCSE, even though I can’t draw.
65. Although I have a Bachelor Honours degree and a Master’s degree in English Literature, I still don’t really understand literary theory or see the point of it.
66. Sometimes I pretend that I am in a movie and I’m being filmed as I walk around.
67. It would be an incredibly dull movie, but it makes walking around more interesting for me.
68. I feel uncomfortable in countries where the national language isn’t English.
69. I am incredibly organised.
70. I have never missed a deadline, of any kind, in my entire life.
71. I am obsessively punctual.
72. You might not believe it, based on the above, but I’m actually pretty relaxed most of the time.
73. I have enormous faith in the inherent goodness of human nature.
74. I can bear almost any horror in this world except cruelty to animals, which keeps me awake at night.
75. I am completely unaffected by caffeine, I could drink an espresso and still take a nap five minutes later.
76. I have no addictions, but lots of strong likes.
77. I’d really like to do a PhD someday, and I’m always thinking of possible topics.
78. Mostly I would like to do a PhD so I could make people call me Dr.
79. I am attracted to men who make me laugh.
80. Every boyfriend I have ever had has worn glasses, although it wasn’t a conscious choice of mine at the time.
81. I have recently developed an allergy to chilli – it makes me throw up – which sucks because I love chilli con carne.
82. I am a non-infectious carrier of tuberculosis, which means it’s in me, but not active.
83. This means if my immune system is ever severely compromised, I’ll probably develop TB.
84. Which adds a piquant thrill to my occasional chest infections.
85. You might not believe it, based on the above, but I am actually robustly healthy almost all of the time.
86. I have a really quite alarming capacity to consume junk food. I mean really, I can eat a lot of the stuff, in one sitting, without ever getting sick. It’s freakish.
87. I’m not squeamish at all. I never have to turn away when they show surgical procedures on documentaries….
88. But, the sight of foxgloves (the flowers, I know I know) makes me feel queasy.
89. I think it’s the spots.
90. No matter what I eat for breakfast, I am always ravenous by mid-morning.
91. I can’t bear for the yolks of my eggs to be runny. They have to be cooked all the way through.
92. I have really pale skin, and never ever tan.
93. But I do get so covered in freckles that I look like I’ve been sunbathing through a sieve.
94. Some of the people I love most in the world live in far away countries, and I miss them.
95. In my school yearbook, I was voted ‘most likely to win the Booker prize’.
96. I have strong suspicions that this may never happen.
97. My hair is naturally blonde with a hint of red.
98. I am obsessive about my nose being shiny and always have a powder compact somewhere about my person.
99. Most people say that thinking up 100 things about themselves is hard.
100. I could have kept going for at least another 50…